this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
