They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
