OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Randomize