Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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