Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
