how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
