I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
