Cold hands, warm shart.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
and she was petting her beer can
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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