We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
