I'm pants shitting drunk right now
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
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It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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