pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
A+ Viking dick
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
