You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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