Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
We left an ass print on the piano.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
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