apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
