They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
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