super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
