I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
