You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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