We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize