It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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