im drinking this country out of the recession.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
He did a backflip because drugs
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
