My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
