3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
