just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
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You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
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I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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