We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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