I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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