8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
