Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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