Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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