Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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