I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
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