I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
