Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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