Do you still have your period?
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
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