Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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