can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
