I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Randomize
