so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
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You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
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You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
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