I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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