My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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