yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
