Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
