I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Randomize
