I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize