dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
