Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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