I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize