Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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