so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I need moral support for this bender
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
