Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
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