He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
