Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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