C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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