guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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