i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
