He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize
