I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
