started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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