remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
