Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
